I begin talking about random things, but then I begin talking about personal issues

I think I might have already done this in one of my blogs, but this time there is a reason that I am doing it. I do not know what to write about. I think I have written about everything that we did this quarter. I don’t have any idea about what I am going to write for this blog, which is why I am just going to write what comes to mind and hope that it is enough to earn a passing grade. Remember the time when spencer did not know how to say pyramidal. That was really funny. He sounded like the biggest dumb ass. Me and Connor made fun of him a lot after that. He got really mad and took his anger out on my computer by repeatedly slamming it shut while I was trying to type something. I think that was the same day that you told me that you were going to assign me a really hard reading quiz because I had not read my book yet. You were really pissed off, and you had every right to be. I had failed to complete an assignment that I had lots of time to complete. I do that a lot. I know that what I do only hurts me in the long run, but for some reason I can’t stop. It happens in almost every class that I take. History, Chemistry, Spanish, etc.. I guess that part of this blog is a cry for help in a way. My problem has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety, and usually leaves me feeling depressed and develop feelings that I am a total fuck up. That I am worthless. I feel as though I am not living up to my father, who has had a lot of success in his career. I just want to make him proud, and become successful like him someday, but I feel as though I am disappointing him. That’s the worst feeling in the world. Having your dad say that he is not mad, just disappointed. Every time my dad says that I can’t help but cry. It is hard to admit that, but that is reality. I just hate knowing that I have the capability to succeed in school, but instead I trash my grades for stupid reasons, and wind up wasting whatever my father spends a year so I can go to school. I hate to put this burden on him because things have not been so good at home recently, but I will not go into detail on that subject because it is a very personal matter. Before I continue with this post, I want to acknowledge the fact that I am aware that this has very little to do with English class, but I kept writing because it felt good to get this off my chest, and because it is almost a kind of therapy. I would also like to ask that If you are alarmed by this post to please not tell anybody about this. I am not suicidal, and I have other ways of dealing with these issues. Although I feel as though I should probably see a shrink about these issues because this is basically the first time that I have said anything out loud about my feelings, and to be completely honest it feels good. Once again Please do not tell anybody about the contents of this blog post.